CSO
(Supermom)

Posts	:	510
Location	:

Posted:Thursday 09 August 2007,12:36:56 PM

Hi Terri,

It's been a long, long time since we last heard from you... How are you & your bb doing?

Just wanna let you know that I really admire you for your action... May God bless you and your bb with lots of loves & happiness in the years to come...

Lots of hugs & kisses to your bb...

Regards,
Fong Yei

mowwf
(Junior Member)

Posts	:	27
Location	:

Posted:Thursday 09 August 2007,12:11:00 PM

Hi Terry,

You've heard from a lot of mommies out there, I just wanna add that you have the support of every mommies (& daddies) in this entire forum.

May God give you strength.

Take Care

wpchui
(Junior Member)

Posts	:	12
Location	:

Posted:Wednesday 08 August 2007,11:00:53 PM

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Hi Terry,

How are you? How is your baby? Hope you have a happy life a head of you.

GOD BLESS YOU!

msloong
(Senior Member)

Posts	:	108
Location	:

Posted:Tuesday 13 February 2007,4:11:08 PM

Hi Terri, be strong for yourself and your son. Although people said a baby needs a mother and a father, they failed to say that a baby DOESN"T need an abusive father. It's better your baby is with you in a single parents environment than in a unhappy unit just because of the sake of having a father around. Don't worry about your future, with prayers and determination, I'm sure you'll be fine. There are a lot of support out there for single moms. Remember, you are not alone. Take care.

mummylinda
(Novice)

Posts	:	8
Location	:

Posted:Tuesday 23 January 2007,9:12:49 AM

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Keep in mind that u never bad mouth his dad to him and never prevent your ex-hubby's visiting right eventhough he does not provide any love or financial assistance. Leave it to God do the rest.

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hi terry,

u're such a strong woman!!! i don't think many woman could go tru ur painful experience. n'way, just to tell u that i come from a broken home as well. my mom was abused when she was carrying me, & i came out preemie. i had a heart case, so i spent most of my first year in assunta with my mom by my side. dad never had the nerve to visit his own daughter. granddad & grandma shut their lives outta my mom's. my mom struggled to take care of me & to bring me up like other children who has a father. since then, i never knew my father as he never paid any visit on us, & of course not to send us any money! but, one thing for sure, mom never    told me anything bad about him, altho i could see the pain in her. mom was a mother & a father to me.
i just found out about my dad's bad behavior towards mom when i was in my pantang period last 3 mnths. it made my love for my mom grew even stronger & stronger! i even respect her for not badmouthing my dad. i'm really proud to have such a strong mom!!
terry, u'll make a good mother to ur child. be strong for ur child, ur child need u to grow well. u'll do good & u'll know what to do when something comes ur way. hope u'll both b happy for the rest of ur lives.

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munirah
(Senior Member)

Posts	:	106
Location	:

Posted:Wednesday 11 October 2006,2:38:23 PM

Hi Terri,
I sure by now u would have delivered ur baby - hope both mommy & bb doing's fine. Whn a lady make the decision to marry a man - she puts her hopes in him. To care, love, protect and provide for her needs till death do they part - I believe everywoman put hope in that. Once married, most ladies centre their entire world in the marriage-giving every into making the marriage a success. how many men actually appreciate that? Whn they break ur heart, u still pray tht one day he will come around and change. U hope n hope n hope for a better change. Afraid to get out of the marriage - afraid of wht the society would say abt failing a marriage and afraid of being lonely. Ladies face more emotional stress compared to men. I sympatise wt Terri's abuse- the most saddest part was eventhough knowing terri's carrying his child he ignore her delicate condition and the baby's needs. I think leaving him is a good decision on ur part, terri because if he didnt change his abusive ways & be more caring after knowing u r carrying his flesh and blood, it's hard to even hope he would change. It good to knwo that u've got supportive family by ur side. For ur baby's sake u must be strong -its not easy being a single mom but still its better than living wt an abusive husband or worse watch ur own kid suffer his abuse. It will be hard to live on ur own at first but dun worry life will only get better for u now onwards after leaving ur husband. Hope ur baby and u will be happy!

carmenchok
(Novice)

Posts	:	7
Location	:

Posted:Tuesday 10 October 2006,7:06:09 PM

Terri,

Leave him and live better...otherwise, you are not only the one to suffer, but also your beloved baby who is coming to the new world in future. No one can't live without any one. Believe me, when the time you see your baby, you will know that nothing is more important than her, and, she is everything.

dellania
(Member)

Posts	:	31
Location	:

Posted:Wednesday 09 August 2006,1:26:31 PM

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Keep in mind that u never bad mouth his dad to him and never prevent your ex-hubby's visiting right eventhough he does not provide any love or financial assistance. Leave it to God do the rest.

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mimee78
(Junior Member)

Posts	:	10
Location	:

Posted:Monday 07 August 2006,1:29:25 PM

Hi Terri,

U r really supermom!!! Don't worry girl, God has BETTER pl*n for u and the lilttle one. Pls take care and all the best to u!

cnc
(Supermom)

Posts	:	506
Location	:

Posted:Saturday 08 July 2006,3:49:08 PM

Hi Terri,

Be Strong, all ur family members and fren will give 100% of support to you. Not easy to be a single mum, but if u think u can u always can. tomoro always better. God Always be with you.

Take good care.

winnie

mitzrah
(Novice)

Posts	:	4
Location	:

Posted:Wednesday 05 July 2006,11:00:06 PM

Good luck for your delivery. It's sad to hear that are some "men" out there who can raise a hand against a woman, it's just not right and it's unforgivable.

You did the right thing in bringing the matter to the authorities, these incidences should never go unnoticed and unreported. I hope that other victims will also report such cases of abuse.

I can't really say that your husband will or will not change, perhaps he will after he sees your child and gets re-acquainted and if things can be reconciled between the both of you, but I'd recommend that you take up some self defense classes like Tae Kwon Do or Karate so that you do not become a victim again, just in case.

Here's to a new chapter of life for you and your child. :cheers:

simonlainey
(Supermom)

Posts	:	2663
Location	:

Posted:Tuesday 04 July 2006,12:21:05 PM

Hi Terri! It is really good and a relieve to hear from u at last. Your baby is due in August, that means, he is either a Leo or Virgo. If he is a Leo, u r very luck as a Leo is a very good son/daughter and filial child. Don't worry about anything. My son is a Leo and my baby gal is a Virgo. Myself is inbetween Leo and Virgo and my hubby is a Leo.

Keep in mind that u never bad mouth his dad to him and never prevent your ex-hubby's visiting right eventhough he does not provide any love or financial assistance. Leave it to God do the rest.

Do give drop a line to my email and I would spend some time on the phone with u.

nidahamid
(Senior Member)

Posts	:	143
Location	:

Posted:Monday 03 July 2006,12:20:01 PM

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Dear all,

I am almost 4 1/2 months pregnant... and 3 weeks ago.. I had to go thru a terrible experience. Due to some small arguement... My husband slapped me and pushed me, verbally abused me and even asked me to get out of the house... which I did... I packed.. called my parents to get me... and now.. I'm staying at my parent's house.
This is not the first time he did this... before I got pregnant... he hit me so bad that I had to go to the clinic and lodged a report. He said he was sorry and asked for forgiveness and even seek counselling.... I forgave him... and when I found out I'm pregnant, I thought things will get better but sad to say.. it didn't...
Is it true that once they hit u.. they will always go on hitting u ?
I dunno what to do... thinking of leaving him as I dun want naything to happen to my BB.. now and in the future...
Hope someone can give me some advice there....

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this is a serious issue, i think in the mean time you better stay away from your hubby as you are pregnant and i swear you dont want to put any risk to your fetus. your hubby shouldnt do this to you and somemore you are pregnant. i look down on this kind of so called 'hubby' whom like to beat their wives. maybe your hubby is bad temper type, try sort things out with him. make sure someone with you just in case he will do anything violence. u can give him second chance but if he do repeat, i think you know what to do by heart. please take care yourself

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WaiKit
(Junior Member)

Posts	:	25
Location	:

Posted:Saturday 01 July 2006,12:22:47 PM

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VICKY CHONG
(Supermom)

Posts	:	615
Location	:

Posted:Wednesday 28 June 2006,8:09:44 PM

Hi Terri,

I think u take d right step in divorcing ur hubby n wz ur family's n frens supports i am sure u will be able to cope being a single mother n a loving one too.

Look at d positive side. At least u dun hv to take on all d abuses frm ur hubby. U will be free frm him. He is still not repented of his actions instead he still put all d blames on u.       

So Terri ur due date is very soon so pls take good care of urself ya. Let us kno of whatever news of ur divorce n especially ur delivery. Wish u hv a smooth n safe delivery of ur bb boy. All d best to u in ur process of divorcing.
Take care ya.    

guessgal
(Supermom)

Posts	:	207
Location	:

Posted:Tuesday 27 June 2006,5:54:25 PM

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Dear Strong mummies...
Thank you for your concern and sharing with me.
You are very right, Simonlainey... he's at the stage where he asked for forgiveness.. said he's sorry for what he did and he'll never do that again and all that... Yup.. even with tears and all....   
I still care for my husband and all... but I've already developed a PHOBIA.. whereby I'm just too afraid that it'll happened again.... I'm just too afraid that I may not be so lucky the next time... and worst still... my BB will not be so lucky as well... plus I don't want my BB to grow up being in an abusive situation....
I really dunno what to do.... as... my heart said give him another chance as I still care for him... but my head said.... once an abuser.. always an abuser .. no matter what..
Mummies... need your advice....
Thanks!

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Hi Terri, been waiting for your news. It's good to hear from u finally. Terri, do not listen to what your heart says, follow your head! Is this the first time u forgive him? I don't think so. I am not trying to break both of u up or what but I have gone through what u r going through now! Till now, I still know that my ex-hubby still an abuser to his new wife. They can't change! They needs help! Please do not follow your heart as I followed mine before and the outcome of it is that my babies suffered! They were brought up in an abusive situation/family and has affected them terribly especially my first born! Would u like to see and hear from him personally? He really hates his dad. I never, never instill the feeling in him. I always tell him that no matter what, he is still his dad. Without him, my son would not be in this world, right? Advises and tells him to leave all to God but he refuses to listen.

Terri, I really know and how u feel for him. U still cares and loves him deep inside u but that's not the way. Me too, every time he does that to me, I listened and followed my heart instead of my head. The consequences of it, not only I suffered but all my loved ones. I almost l*nded myself in Tanjung Rambutan.

Time can mend everything. Beginning, it is difficult but as time passes, u will feel and see the road ahead of you is full of love, beauty and etc. Hope u understand what I m trying to say. It is not the dooms day. He is not the only man on earth.

If u r 101% sure and convinced that he can change, then go ahead. If you still have the slightest doubt, do not.

Has both of you seen a QUALIFIED counselor or physchiatrist? Does he agree on seeing one? Mine, he does not agree saying he don't need. There is nothing wrong with him, he says, hai........ such a chauvinist.

Please think and judge deeply. Always remember to follow what your head says rather than your heart.

Take care.

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Terri, it took me nearly 7 years to be able to talk about past and my ex without a single tears rolling down. Everytime, when I think n talk about him, I would end up crying like a baby cos deep inside me I still loves him n I was really badly hurt and also phobia of what had happened.

Now, only once in a blue moon, my tears would roll down when I think of the past. So, u see, time can mend a broken past n heart but the scar would always be there no matter what.

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Hi Simonlainey,

Thank you so much for the concern and advice. It really keeps me going in a way... I know what you mean when you spoke of your first born. That is what I am afraid of... I don't want my first born to be affected as well.
I mean.. it's not fair for our kids to go through abuse and sufferings like that. They're innocent. ANd it'll break my heart if she (I just went for a scan and doc told me that BIG possibility that it's a BB girl) has to go through.
Kudos to you dear, for all you've been through... You are really a strong lady and I hope I can be as strong as you..
I can't help but feeling depress of what has happened and happenning... and I hope it will not affect my BB.   
But I'll be strong.... for my BB's sake... and also for those who cares.. like you.
Thanks dearie.

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Terri,
Hw r u ?? Hope u fine. How ur bb ?? hw many month 2go ?? baby boy o girl ??
My opinion is, the most important is look good ur health n take a very good care ur bb till bb giv birth. BB has the right to come here. People always said, adults people promblems , dont involve the small one. (sorry my english not good, hope u understand)

It like my cousin, she fight with her husband, they discretion since their daughter 1yrs ++. My cousin's family not allow him and his grandparrent to visit. Not telling her daughter where was hir father. Now she aledi standard 1 in school, sure teacher teaching who is ur parrent, what their working. She always ask her mum, her mum angry her and bit her. Not allow her to asking.

What i mean to you is, ur hubby was wrong, but he was the bb father. What ur desission, jaga ur baby growing time. If u wan to have disscussion, plz let ur parrent acompanied. We only advise u, final disision is in your hand. Think deep, what way ur a happy.

Last but not least, take a good care of u2. Thanks god to u have ur lovey bb, open hand to welcome ur baby. Happy always.

WaiKit        

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Dear all the wonderful mummies...

Thank you so much for your constant concern and support...
I am 8 months pregnant now... and I've decided to leave my abusive husband...
Since my last reply... which is a few months ago... I have came to term that my husband will never change.
Eventhough I went to my parent's place since Feb 06 till now... he has never once came and see me... never once offered to pay for anything when it comes to our BB.. or even offer me money ...as in.. buying all the essentials for the BB like some new clothes.. disposal diapers and etc.. even though I got most of the 'hand me downs' by my sisters and close friends.
Thank God for them.. or else.. I dunno how I can afford to buy all that on my own..
Not only that... until today.. he blamed me for his abusive actions.. saying that I am the one that caused him to do all terrible things to me. He accused me of moving on with my life with our BB while leaving him behind... I really dunno what to say about that anymore.
In a way.. I had to pay everything on my own... doc's fees... my own every day expenses...    I'm sure you mummies out there know how costly it is to prepare for the BB's delivery...
Not that I'm complaining..as I can't wait to see my BB boy in Aug... to hold him in my arms and love him and care for him... infact.. my parents and siblings can't wait to see him as well.
Despite of everything.. I know I still have to carry on... and I've already consulted a lawyer to proceed with the necessary steps.

I really hope I'm doing the right thing.... I mean.. I came across a lot of articles and people saying that... a child needs a father and mother in order to grow up happily...
Will my BB boy grow up happy if his father is not around ?
I mean... I will not deprieve my child to see or get to know his father esp when he's slightly older... but will my child grow up alright w/o his dad ?

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Terri Chai
(Novice)

Posts	:	4
Location	:

Posted:Tuesday 27 June 2006,4:06:25 PM

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Dear Strong mummies...
Thank you for your concern and sharing with me.
You are very right, Simonlainey... he's at the stage where he asked for forgiveness.. said he's sorry for what he did and he'll never do that again and all that... Yup.. even with tears and all....   
I still care for my husband and all... but I've already developed a PHOBIA.. whereby I'm just too afraid that it'll happened again.... I'm just too afraid that I may not be so lucky the next time... and worst still... my BB will not be so lucky as well... plus I don't want my BB to grow up being in an abusive situation....
I really dunno what to do.... as... my heart said give him another chance as I still care for him... but my head said.... once an abuser.. always an abuser .. no matter what..
Mummies... need your advice....
Thanks!

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Hi Terri, been waiting for your news. It's good to hear from u finally. Terri, do not listen to what your heart says, follow your head! Is this the first time u forgive him? I don't think so. I am not trying to break both of u up or what but I have gone through what u r going through now! Till now, I still know that my ex-hubby still an abuser to his new wife. They can't change! They needs help! Please do not follow your heart as I followed mine before and the outcome of it is that my babies suffered! They were brought up in an abusive situation/family and has affected them terribly especially my first born! Would u like to see and hear from him personally? He really hates his dad. I never, never instill the feeling in him. I always tell him that no matter what, he is still his dad. Without him, my son would not be in this world, right? Advises and tells him to leave all to God but he refuses to listen.

Terri, I really know and how u feel for him. U still cares and loves him deep inside u but that's not the way. Me too, every time he does that to me, I listened and followed my heart instead of my head. The consequences of it, not only I suffered but all my loved ones. I almost l*nded myself in Tanjung Rambutan.

Time can mend everything. Beginning, it is difficult but as time passes, u will feel and see the road ahead of you is full of love, beauty and etc. Hope u understand what I m trying to say. It is not the dooms day. He is not the only man on earth.

If u r 101% sure and convinced that he can change, then go ahead. If you still have the slightest doubt, do not.

Has both of you seen a QUALIFIED counselor or physchiatrist? Does he agree on seeing one? Mine, he does not agree saying he don't need. There is nothing wrong with him, he says, hai........ such a chauvinist.

Please think and judge deeply. Always remember to follow what your head says rather than your heart.

Take care.

---

Terri, it took me nearly 7 years to be able to talk about past and my ex without a single tears rolling down. Everytime, when I think n talk about him, I would end up crying like a baby cos deep inside me I still loves him n I was really badly hurt and also phobia of what had happened.

Now, only once in a blue moon, my tears would roll down when I think of the past. So, u see, time can mend a broken past n heart but the scar would always be there no matter what.

---

Hi Simonlainey,

Thank you so much for the concern and advice. It really keeps me going in a way... I know what you mean when you spoke of your first born. That is what I am afraid of... I don't want my first born to be affected as well.
I mean.. it's not fair for our kids to go through abuse and sufferings like that. They're innocent. ANd it'll break my heart if she (I just went for a scan and doc told me that BIG possibility that it's a BB girl) has to go through.
Kudos to you dear, for all you've been through... You are really a strong lady and I hope I can be as strong as you..
I can't help but feeling depress of what has happened and happenning... and I hope it will not affect my BB.   
But I'll be strong.... for my BB's sake... and also for those who cares.. like you.
Thanks dearie.

---

Terri,
Hw r u ?? Hope u fine. How ur bb ?? hw many month 2go ?? baby boy o girl ??
My opinion is, the most important is look good ur health n take a very good care ur bb till bb giv birth. BB has the right to come here. People always said, adults people promblems , dont involve the small one. (sorry my english not good, hope u understand)

It like my cousin, she fight with her husband, they discretion since the